Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Northern Alliance soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 3rd-story window 200 yards away, KA-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away, KA-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90 mph, bulls-eye!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football, and the Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghani is hailed as the Great Hero of football, and when Coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."
"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No, let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was assaulted in broad daylight." At that point, the old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,
"I'll never forgive you for making us move to Oakland."
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